5 Steps to find the right Mentor?

In the Mentorship campaign we have talked about the importance of having mentors, what the different types of mentors are, and why you should definitely have one. That’s all great, but how does one even find a mentor?

In this post we will cover in depth where you can begin your search, and the things to keep in mind. A mentorship relationship must be driven by an objective; it can be anything from professional development to personal development, career change or something completely different. The critical part is that it must be driven by an end goal that the mentee is seeking and believes the mentor can provide insight into. When searching for prospective mentors keep this in mind. My mentorship relationships have started in many different ways: some developed organically where casual conversations turned into mentorships with a regular cadence, while others have been more intentional and actively planned.

In an intentional mentorship where you will be reaching out to someone to ask them to be your mentor, a well composed plan of your expectations, why you wish to have this person as your mentor, and how you plan to drive this mentorship are extremely important. One of the most important things is to keep your mind open to the possibility of it. Most people think that a mentor must be within the same field, someone they have known for a while or someone who was on the same path as them. While those are obvious choices for a mentor, they aren’t necessarily the only ones.

Let’s discuss a few key objectives and key considerations to keep in mind when seeking mentorships.

Differences are key.

Different opinions are crucial to any kind of success and the same applies to your professional or personal development. If someone has a different background as you but has a quality you admire and wish to learn, they would make a great mentor. You want a mentor who can support you with your plans but also objectively dissect them and help you make the right choice.

Don’t forget to look outside.

While I would always suggest having allies and mentors at your workplace, I would also suggest seeking mentorship outside. It could be someone you meet at an event, someone you follow on LinkedIn or maybe even someone you met through school or your network.

Focus on qualities.

It is difficult to be objective when searching for mentors, we automatically gravitate towards someone who has a strong presence or someone who makes us feel comfortable, and if that’s the skillset you are planning to learn then go for that person. If not, however, then focus on the person that has the qualities you aspire to have. If you want to lead people, find the best people leader and learn from them the habits that make one an aspirational leader.

Don’t be disheartened by a “no”.

When you reach out to someone to be your mentor, you will obviously want them to say yes, but there is always a possibility that they might say no. This is in no way a reflection on you, your skills or someone’s interest in what you do; it could just be because of how busy they are. The likely truth is that you weren’t the first person that thought about reaching out to this individual if they have admirable qualities and they might already be mentoring others, or be juggling too many hats at one time. Don’t fret! You still reached out to someone you admire and now they know who you are as well! The worst case scenario is that you built a connection.

Set realistic goals.

Don’t expect a personal change overnight, or a career change in a week. A mentorship is helping you build the right skills so that you are ready for the tomorrow you want, but it takes time. When searching for a mentor, make sure you are not reaching out to someone with unrealistic expectations of becoming a star overnight. Realistic expectations are critical.

Always remember that most people want to share their learnings with others and help them grow, but you won’t find that unless you ask for it. Closed mouths don’t get fed! So remember to reach out to that person you have been thinking about to be your mentor and start your journey towards finding a mentor who could be an ally, a friend, an advocate, a sponsor, a coach, a cheerleader and much more!

To learn more about mentorships, explore examples on reaching out to a prospective mentor, use our mentorship template for tracking your journey and much more, follow our campaign on Mentorship | Making Millennium.